


To be, or not to be

by Cecileen_aka_C2



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: F/M, We always despair together, let me contribute to Saiharu ship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-16
Updated: 2018-04-16
Packaged: 2019-04-23 14:29:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14334471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cecileen_aka_C2/pseuds/Cecileen_aka_C2
Summary: She received an order.The target is ultimate detective, Shuuichi Saihara. As he began to investigate the criminal world, he grew to be a massive threat. Thus they concluded that he must die. And the right person for this job was Maki Harukawa.He who is dearest to Harukawa.





	To be, or not to be

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [하루사이 죽이는거](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/370989) by 루이. 



> AU made by me, written by Louis, and again translated by me.  
> It's called perfect teamwork
> 
> Saiharu might not be the best romantic ship, but I think it's one of the best 'just friend' ship. They have lots of things in common(I'll let you to investigate more on that), including being survivor of despairing truth and crime experts. Assassin who takes life and detective who figures out death...somebody please take away this unnecessarily perfect balance

She received an order.

 

The target is ultimate detective, Shuuichi Saihara. As he began to investigate the criminal world, he grew to be a massive threat. Thus they concluded that he must die. And the right person for this job was Maki Harukawa.

 

He who is dearest to Harukawa.

 

Don’t kill him? What about the children from orphanage? What have you killed for so far? What have you lived for? For what have you shed tears, wiped them, and didn’t cry anymore? What has driven you to here? What made you shiver in fear? What made you to give up every life and murder people?

 

Kill him? Who comforted you? Who consoled you? Who offered you first to be a family? The warm favor that was too devoted that it felt scary. Also the understanding. Who gave those? Those you lacked. Those you once had but lost. All those that was filling you but drained completely in anguish. Who gave them back to you?

 

Don’t kill him? What’s wrong? You’re not an amateur. Haven’t you killed your friend before? Didn’t you receive the order she must be eliminated before the enemy uses her? Like right now. She was innocent but she had to die. So what did you do? You murdered. You justified yourself, claiming that you did what you can do in order to survive like everyone does-until now. Shuuichi Saihara is a target. The target you have to kill. Even if he might be dear to you, that fact does not change. The many people you murdered must’ve been precious to someone. Your friend’s father loved her-whom you killed-dearly too. But you killed them mercilessly. Nobody can fill their sense of loss. And now you cannot kill Saihara just because of personal crush? So all those people had to die just because they didn’t fall in love with you? How selfish.

 

Kill him? Why not? Remember Saihara’s face when you confessed that you killed your friend? He was saddened. Telling you that it couldn’t be helped. Who else can say that except Saihara? There’s only one Saihara in this world. The people you’ve killed? Seriously. Who cares? So far you weren’t selfish. In fact you just didn’t get a chance to be selfish. Would you assassinate someone if you were born into an affluent family? No. So far you’ve done well. You threw up and cried everyday, but endured everything for the children from orphanage. If you’re disqualified they will stop sponsoring orphanage. You walked along the path of sacrifice, for someone who can be on that path instead of you. But you cannot be greedy for your love, just a single person’s life? Can’t you be more selfish? Please. God. I beg you. Please spare this one person. Please forgive this.

 

Kill him? Don’t kill him? Kill him? Don’t kill him? Kill him. Don’t kill him. Kill him. Don’t kill him.

 

Harukawa made only half of a decision and moved along.

  
  


* * *

 

 

Come and see me anytime. You can tell me when you’re in trouble. I’ll soon find a way that will stop you from assassinating. I’ll save you from the fate of assassin. Please wait. That was what Saihara told her. Maybe the organization noticed him as he was searching that solution and targeted him. Maki Harukawa. You are the reason to kill your loved one with your hands. Just how far will your life fall into bottomless abyss? A hazy voice rang in her mind. Frowning, she found Saihara detective agency from the map.

 

"Ah, Harukawa-san!"

 

Saihara greeted her with a smile. Her emotion almost bursted out at the thought that smile might be the last one. But Harukawa aimed the knife toward Saihara’s heart maintaining poker face. Now. It’s time to decide. Maki Harukawa. You can weigh the two precious things you were allowed to own only when you push yourself to the dead end. Orphanage, or Saihara? Saihara, or orphanage?

 

Harukawa could not look straight in the Saihara’s face. She just stared at his heart, fearing that it will break if she reach out a millimeter. Fearing she might witness resentment of betrayal when she looks at his face. Fearing she might remember his feeling of being betrayed, not happy memories with him, when she later retrospect him. Fearing they would end in the worst way possible. She just could not look at his face.

 

"Harukawa-san."

 

Saihara gentle held Harukawa’s wrist. His voice did not hold a vestige of resentment. Just a touch of sadness. His effort to look as cheerful as possible was evident.

 

"It’s alright."

 

Harukawa raised her head and checked Saihara’s face. It was his usual self.

 

"...Nothing is alright."

 

"I worked on it as fast as possible... but I couldn’t make it. Sorry. I couldn’t keep my promise."

 

"Why are you sorry? I hate when you apologize. Why do you choose to live with others’ fault? Be angry. Resent me. You have to detest me. It is scary, but it’s the punishment I deserve. The burden I must carry for the rest of my life. I must pay for the sin I’ve committed by living. But you... why are you trying to lighten my guilt till your last? How can you be... so kind? That’s too considerate. You are going to die in my hands. In the hands of the person you… cared, did a favor, and comforted. Don’t you feel any spite? Don’t you feel betrayed?"

 

"I understand."

 

"You don’t understand. I... I’m going crazy. Saihara. I’m too... filthy. Here I am, shamelessly alive, standing on top of the bodies I’ve killed. I can remember everything you gave to me clearly, but in the end I’m trying to kill you. I really considered starting a family with you... Why. why. Just why. Why is this happening? It would be better if I die."

 

"It’s not your fault."

 

Harukawa suddenly shouted. All those emotions boiling inside her finally bursted out. The myriad that was entangled within chaos. Guilt. Regret. Love. Self hatred. Remorse. Grief. At last the tightly closed heart, pandora’s box was finally open, as if yearning to show what she couldn’t express now. Even the hope that was laid at the bottom. Everything was bursted out to this world.

 

"Saihara, it IS my fault! How can it be other’s fault when I am killing you?! I ended up betraying you whatever the reason is! No one else but you! You... Sorry. Apologising won’t change anything, but I really enjoyed the days spent with you. I’ve never felt it before... To me, meeting you was the best fortune in my life. But to you it must be the worst misfortune. Because I’m going to kill you. I’ve only thought about how to kill someone, not how to protect, before meeting you. But... do any of them matter now…?"

 

Behind the thickened curtain of tear, Harukawa felt a certain strength embracing her wrist. Saihara was pulling her hands-toward himself. _ I shouldn't have sharpen the knife. _ The knife smoothly and neatly split open the cloth and tear the flesh.

 

"Saihara! What are you..."

 

"You didn’t kill me. They might think you are the one who killed me, but you did not kill me. right? I’m the one who’s piercing my heart. So it’s okay... Maki. I regret nothing. All those moments we spent together… are precious memories to me. And I don’t want to hurt you with the fact that I was once alive. I want you to not forget the good memories shared with me. I won’t stop you from missing me. But don’t be hurt when you think of me. Please... don’t hate yourself anymore."

 

Harukawa’s knife made a big hole in Saihara’s heart by himself. He knelt as his legs gave way. Harukawa held him tight and let him lean against her.

 

"Let’s meet again... in the world where we’re neither assassin or detective."

 

Harukawa said nothing. She just let his body to grow colder and colder. Saihara’s eyes were closed, never to be open ever again. As the truth that he was dead hit hard, all the time spent with him came and went like a kaleidoscope. Even after all those things happened, you are still a dirty assassin.

 

"You told me you'd save me from the fate of assassin. You liar...!"

 

What hurt Harukawa most was that she could not keep Saihara’s last words. She could not avoid the guilt and grief.  
  



End file.
